Blooeye's Ceiling Dance
2005-12-17 6:49 p.m.

Thursday was my birthday.

Let me tell you what happened.

I was excited because I was going to finish painting the bathroom, and Kate was coming to install the new vanity. I really wanted to get it all together so Blooeye could use the new, improved biffy while she was here.

Blooeye arrived as Kate and I were working away in the bathroom, and joined us there. Three women in a little potty. Very congenial!

After Kate finished and the Samurai got home, we adjourned to Outback for meat goodness. Nice birthday so far, yes.

When we got home, the DIY crack monkeys decided we should put in the new bathroom fan. First, we had to remove the old one--original equipment from 1977, filthy, and rusty. It was VERY well secured. The Samurai finally got up in the attic to tackle it. Blooeye went with him, to hold the light. I worked from below, and we got the old one out, and the new one in.

I went into the hall to find the vacuum as the Samurai and Blooeye clambered down from the attic. I got two feet, then I was showered with dust, insulation, and plaster as I watched a pair of denim legs whisk past me. Blooeye had come completely through the ceiling, and lay flat on her back in the hallway.

I was terrified. My house killed my pod sister!

Fortunately, she was moving and talking. The first thing she said was, "SonofaBITCH! I fell eight feet!"
I figured if she could talk, she could do EMT stuff, albeit as her own patient, so I held her head (she was trying to turn it) while she carefully moved her limbs. Her spine seemed fine, so we got her up and out of the debris. She babbled a bit, but she seemed okay, until we found the gash under her arm. She sort of squirted through a space between rafters, and her arms flew up, so I guess she caught a nail or something. She was bleeding a good bit, so I grabbed the best temporary dressing I could find--a new, wrapped maxi pad. We slapped it on there, then the Samurai took her to the ER while I cleaned up the colossal mess.

Around 1:30 AM, they came back, Blooeye with seven new stitches. They made me open my birthday present, a really nice keyboard. (I'd love a piano, but there's no room. I felt a bit like Ada from "The Piano," except the Samurai is way hotter than Harvey Keitel.)

Blooeye is sore, but she passed her exam and we got to do some girlie shopping at that mall named after a general. It was great to see her, but not great to see her descending from my ceiling!

Right now, Kate is out in the hall, patching plaster. I think she's getting sick of us, poor lady. The Samurai is attempting to plumb. Anyone know how to get purple PVC primer out of vinyl flooring? Me either....

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