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Just for you, Dame Hrothny: this is how EduCait makes a Valkyrie shawl. April: Get call from peer who wants me to make a "Laurel cloak." Mutter, "No, no, she won't want a cloak...and no, I ain't usin' no steenkin' trigger...lemme do some research." Three days later, go to hospital with chest pains. Buy new lingerie. May and June: Read everything Viking ever printed, especialy DK books, cause they have pictures. Watch that dumb Kirk Douglas flick, too. E-mail Mavi with questions. Decide caftans are too early, and start playing with fabric to get drape right. Obsess about correct fabric weaves for a solid week.(Hey, it's for Hrothny--she'll know!) Late June: Buy fabric, with help from Shilo. Take two hours to decide on under two yards. Wash fabric carefully by hand, so's not to wreck the twilling. Dry on low, checking every fifteen minutes. Worry that the color is wrong. Order silk thread in four different greens for hemming, just in case monitor color values are off. (They are.) E-mail Shilo a lot. Plan embroidery. Re-draw design every two days. Go back to Shilo's store and buy silk fabric for embroidery. Obsess about weave for a few more hours. Panic. Buy a limeade and chill out. Wash silk fabric twice to set color. Get hands green. Rinse with vinegar. Hands look and smell like salad. Buy silk/wool yarn. Start embroidery. Tear out and restart twice, in the van, on highway near Nashville, during a thunderstorm. Cuss a lot. Manage to cut self with Clover yarn cutter. Cuss more. Late July: Ask Hrothny lots of pointed questions about Viking garb. Hope she doesn't know what you're up to. (She does.) August: Panic while Hrothny is at War. Get trim from Shilo. Hem cloak. Spend two hours mitering corner. Get mad at hem stitches showing too much. Rip out and do it again. Sew trim on cloak. Decide, after three inches, that thread is wrong. Tear house apart looking for gold couching silk. Put trim back on cloak. Spend two hours figuring out best way to do corner trim. Cuss more. Last week: Finish most of embroidery. Pin to cloak. Decide that it's too much. Looks overdone. Not Hrothny at all. Decide to give her embroidery later to use on a hangerrock. Get cloak to Margaret. Worry that it's not right. Be really annoyed that going to Coronation isn't feasible. Curse self for being crackhead monkey woman and buying house before school while doing obsessive-compulsive project. Hrothny, I love you. And this is the last Peerage garment I'll ever make! Really. No fooling. Don't even think of looking at me like that.... |
 
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Insanity by Garb