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I am spending my days shoveling paper, shredding, sorting, and organizing. I am currently dealing with 17 years' worth of teacher crap. I even have old purple dittos! We haven't used those in years, and they're carcinogenic. Yuck. While I do this mess, I'm keeping the Olympics on. Thanks to cable, I have 5 versions to choose from. Today, Casey and I watched the dressage competition. Oooh. Horsie ballet. Hated riding it, love watching it. Here are some things I've learned from the Olympics: *after you do a trick, you should jerk your chin imperiously upwards, like the Romanian gymnast pixies. I've taken to doing this after every successful recliner dismount. *I'm tired of the phrases "beautiful body lines," "so-and-so is a blah-blah specialist," and "dominates." As in, "Look at those beautiful body lines! Casey the Wonder Borkita dominates in this event. He's the USA's farting specialist." (He is a prodigy of effluvia, solid, liquid, and gas.) *The Star-Spangled Banner is not a sappy, melodramatic violin concerto! That "rockets' red glare" phrase should be THUNDEROUS, not tweetledy-sweetledy. Someone get Eddie Izzard in there; he does it well, British executive transvestitism and all. *Michael Phelps is a class act. Nice to have a role model for my kids this year. *The Hamm brothers look a great deal like one of my favorite Atlantian knights. "Hey, look! On TV! Twirling Colins!" *Synchronized diving is what happens when Olympic committees have too much time on their hands. Somebody get them a PlayStation, please. Gotta go! Piles of paper are callin' my name! |
 
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Olympics!