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Tonight, we went to the viewing and funeral vigil for our friend Tom. The crowd overflowed the funeral home's chapel and spilled out into the halls. There must have been a hundred and fifty people there, to our surprise. Tom was, at first glance, a quiet, unassuming man with a shy smile. When he got comfortable with you, he turned out to be a merry prankster, a fine musician, and a wonderful teacher. He worked at my school first as a teacher's aide in special ed classes, then as a full-fledged teacher, working with vision-impaired students. He also worked part-time at a popular indie record store. A lot of people loved him dearly. He died suddenly last week, of a heart attack. He was only 31. Now, coming on the eve of my heart procedure, this has me thinking. I've been dreaming very positive dreams about Tuesday, my favorite beng the one where I get a pedicure with my heart patch. I have loads of confidence in my doctors. I'm not worried, or scared. I have been conversing with the Lord. I asked him why he took Tom so young, and why I'm still here, and looking to be here a long while yet. I figure the Lord has some use for me still, and I generally feel like I'm doing what I should. But sometimes I wonder if I'm giving enough of myself. Should I adopt unwanted children? Work in a soup kitchen? Take in stray dogs? I'm not sure. Maybe I'll find out, maybe not. I might just have to keep fumbling along, doing the best I can. I'm grateful to have known Tom, though. He was a sweet, sweet man. I think the part of losing Tom that hurts me most is seeing his students in pain. They will miss him every day. I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid for what my death would do to my kids. I love my students, bless their rotten little hearts, and I would not want to be the cause of their pain. So, Lord, if you listen to me, please don't hurt my kids. I don't need the pedicure on Tuesday, just safe passage through my heart procedure. I'll adopt all the stray dogs I can, I promise. On de Headbone: Norwegian Wood, the Beatles (yes, I miss John Lennon, but I'm sure Tom in jamming with him tonight!)) |
 
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Tom