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Things I learned at the mall today: -it's okay to wear jeans with a big rip across the butt if you wear your bright blue undies -crotch seams in women's jeans must be less than 6" at all times, or they aren't cool -fake fur that looks like you've skinned Oscar the Grouch is an acceptable jacket trimming -if your tongue is pierced, you have to open your mouth and waggle it at passersby to show it off, kind of like a human anglerfish -everyone's hair looks awful dyed blue -gargoyle statues should never, ever be given genitalia -all teenaged boys need to be pantsed by little old ladies,at random, without warning, to teach them to WEAR BELTS -Marilyn Manson is a wussie compared to Alice Cooper -Most parents have given up on disciplining kids over the age of two (don't get me started on the toy dept. fiasco) -Target is, indeed, the center of American culture The things you get to observe when you are an unobtrusive little brown-haired lady! Today's song: Shine by Dolly Parton; whatta hoot! Book du jour: Beasts by John Crowley--one of my favorite writers takes on genetic engineering and individual freedom |
 
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Cultural Observations from the Field