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I survived semester grade BS, and got my grades in on time. (8:30 AM today; mine were actually logged in by 7:30.) Now comes the onslaught of conferences. I've been BEGGING some of these parents to come in all year, not so I can fuss, but so we can put the lazy offspring in the hot seat and get some action. I'd much rather terrify the kid into performing than fail him (or her.) As it is, I scared them all today by teaching them how to figure out what they have to make for the rest of the year to get the grade they want. Math is my pal! Bet that homework is done tomorrow. So far, only Liam has given me any career-path ideas. (Thanks, Jer, for not suggesting exotic dancing.) Any other ideas? Security guard? Collection agent? Hit man? (Hee hee! No one would ever see me coming!) Just kidding. To wrap up this rambling mess, let me tell you how the Spinedoc came by his other name around our house, Effing Nick. I first heard of Nick when Frank, then a white belt in aikido, came home from the dojo with a bloody nose. His excuse was, "Nick kicked me in the face. Twice." "You LET him?" I screeched. Turns out Frank was holding a pad, improperly braced, for Nick to kick. (See Nick kick. Kick, Nick, Kick!) The pad got him in the face. I blamed Nick, who, as a black belt, should have shown Frank how to hold a pad. When first I met Nick in person, he was dressed as a samurai ghost, at a Halloween party. Never saw his face. Imagined a heavy-browed, weasel-eyed idjit boy. Effing Nick. Finally saw Effing Nick's face at the next dojo party. I was amazed. This sweet little choir-boy was the infamous Effing Nick? No way! This guy was charming! He was funny! He wasn't such a bad guy! Luckily for him, I forgave him. He helped my hubby become whoop-ass incarnate. I taught him to use a sewing machine (he learned fast, no?) I danced at his wedding, and I hope Lara knows how lucky she is to have our Effing Nick as her hubby. I miss them both! Today's song: Dark Alan by Capercaillie-oh, so saaaad. Today's tome: Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey--ALL guys should read this book. (actually, a series. Professor Poopypants is a pinnacle of Boy Humor.) |
 
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Professor Poopypants vs. Effing Nick?