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One of the best parts of the Gothic South Tour was listening to Aunt Claudette lecture Frank about his driving. He's a good driver-you'll arrive alive, no matter what the Road Weirdos have in mind for you-but you'll arrive scared greenandblue, too. He tailgates, he weaves, he speeds, he's just Mr. Highway Badass Minivan Man. I don't want him in the lane behind me, but I'm used to riding with him. Claudette isn't used to him; she's used to tooling around in her Caprice with the Poms in their carseats. She's a very polite, yet somewhat dashing driver. I enjoy riding with her, except for the part where she locks the keys, and the Poms, in the car. So here we are, me in the back with Cisco (who puts his big ole head over the seat and rests it on my shoulder) and Claudette riding shotgun, giving etiquette lessons to her nephew, the driving barbarian. "Now, this nice lady is merging, so it's polite to move left...no, don't pass the old fellah on the right, just be patient, he'll move...there, isn't that nice?" Frank:" GrrrrrrRRRrrrrrr...mumblemrrf." He's stubborn, and she's relentless; it was something to see. For three days, and four states. Claudette should just be grateful she wasn't riding with Frank's dad, in the Big White Truck with the fourwheeler on the back.(It goes where Dad goes. Never know when you might need it.) On the headbone:Beautiful World, Devo-it's Parker's fault. Book: The Green Man, ed. by Terri Windling and Ellen Datlow--the dynamic duo strikes again! Movie: The Wedding Planner-it's tripe, really, but Matthew McConaghey is so charming, and J Lo is so lovely, and they are such fun to watch together. Also, it's all that was on when I took a housecleaning break. What was I gonna watch, Caillou? |
 
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Driving Miz Claudette